A Self Portrait
by MacabreMonster
Summary: Regina's dark curse came with a price she never thought of. Her body had reverted to her male self. Cora had cast a spell to change Regina into a female back in the Enchanted Forest and that spell broke. She was born male and now had to live a transition of an MTF (male to female) once in Storybrooke. Eventually SwanQueen M for future chapters...
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so this fic was inspired by an quick interview/game from comic con. I myself am transgender (FTM) and hopefully going on hormones myself. Most of the feelings Regina have I share with her. I don't know everything and I am horrible at research but I am trying. This chapter is a bit rushed but the rest hopefully will be at a slower more enjoyable pace. **

**All mistakes are mine and please review... and most of all enjoy!**

**~MacabreMonster**

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**Chapter 1: An Unwanted Reveal**

Regina's eyes fluttered opened as she sat up. Something was wrong though. It wasn't her. The curse had worked but at the same time backfired. She reverted back to her original body. She was Rey again. Her hands covered her face as she dropped back into a lying position.

"Damn it…" she whispered. Regina was transgender and Cora for once was nice to her daughter by giving her the body she needed back in the Enchanted Forest. "The curse must have broken the spell…" Regina was nearly in tears. Her body didn't match who she was. She knew everything was there and she hated it. It wasn't her.

She sat up again and slowly stood to get dressed. In the wardrobe were some very fashionable and simple avant garde clothing.

"At least I have my style still." Even the sound of her body's voice made her cringe. She felt like she did when she was a child. At least back then no one really cared. Regina sighed and grabbed a random all black outfit and put it on. Next it was time for coffee. Then she realized she wasn't the mayor like intended. It was Rumplestiltskin, or Mr. Gold as he is known in Storybrooke, instead. "For the love of…" Regina caught herself and thought about the situation. At least no one will care about a middle-class artist in town.

As she walked past a hall mirror she looked at herself. Short espresso colored hair with mocha eyes. Her olive skin was practically glowing but she felt wrong being in it. Her masculine facial structure was bothering her the most. Anyone would see themselves but Regina just saw a face with her eyes, nothing more. "Why," she mumbled.

She shook her head and told herself she had to get over it. There was nothing she could do at the moment. So she sat herself down on her laptop and opened up her favorite game according to her cursed memories. Regina was playing The Sims3. At least that way she could play as a person she was. There was one game, 'Rey Mills.'

"I need to forget that person." She mumbled to herself as she created what was as close enough to her dream self. It took not too long from Regina to start to feel sad. Staring at the collection polygons on the screen made her sad that she had to play a video game to make herself feel right.

Then she had a sudden burst of inspiration. She could do hormone therapy. She shut herself out of the game and then online. Regina searched the web for any answers. Next she called the Storybrooke hospital. Luckily they had an endocrinologist who is trans friendly. She made an appointment for the next week. She was a bit too eager.

X

The week went by too slow, but as the day of the appointment approached Regina's anxiety started to spike. She was excited yet terrified as she sat in the waiting room. Next a nurse (or at least Regina assumed she was) brought her into a very cold examination room. The woman picked up a clipboard and started taking notes.

"May I start off by asking your preferred name and pronouns?" Her voice sweet and mood seemed perky.

Regina quickly answered, "Regina and female pronouns." The nurse wrote that down and continued with her questions.

"Do you take any medication?"

"No." Regina was giving short answers more out of nervousness. The woman however didn't seem to care.

"Do you have an family members or friends who will not approve?"

Regina thought to herself for a moment about her mother Cora. "She is dead so what does it matter." Next she gave her actual answer, "I'm alone." That triggered her. She was all alone. She had no friends, family, or anyone. The only person she had wasn't even a person. It was her pet cat Jinx.

"How do you feel about your body and self image?" This made Regina's heart stop for a short second. Her feelings were all jumbled in her head. She couldn't seem to formulate a sentence. "Ms. Mills," the nurse inquired.

"Oh… sorry. I hate my body. I feel like I'm walking in a shell of someone else. I don't feel right. I feel like I am out of place. I'm not suppose to be like this… " She choked on her words. She didn't know how else to explain it. The questions continued on and on before the woman left to give the doctor the notes. When the endocrinologist walked into the small examination room she smiled at Regina.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Michael. I just need to take some notes on your physical health so when we start the transition I, and you, can keep track of progress." Regina agreed and so the normal check up tests began. Height, weight, reflexes, etc we all tested. "Okay, from your answers to our little questionnaire you are eligible in my book for hormones but I just would like a two month period of you seeing a psych just to make sure you are ready for hormones." Dr. Michael seemed so kind. Regina liked her. "Here's a referral to Dr. Hopper." Regina took the paper and left with a small grin on her face.

X

Once home she dialed her phone and Regina made an appointment for an intake session with Dr. Hopper. The rest of her day she spent playing her Sims game. At night when she was winding down she decided to draw. This however was a self portrait. She drew masculine jawline and everything else. It would be her personal before picture, yet a thought crossed her mind. "Maybe I can't go on hormones…" Regina shrugged that off and hoped the best for herself.

Her black cat Jinx was cuddling next to her and purring. It was nice to know at least one creature won't and doesn't judge her. Regina scratched the cute little cat's head.

"Night kitty," she said as she picked Jinx up and waved her in the air. The cat meowed and jumped down from the bed and cuddled into her own. Regina laid down and


	2. Chapter 2

** Sorry this took so long to write and sorry it is so short. When the story really "kicks off" there will be more quality content. Thanks for reading and please review :)**

***All mistakes are mine.***

**~MacabreMonster**

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**Chapter 2: The New Beginning**

"Rey come here," Cora demanded. A cute little four year old came from nowhere and ran to his mother. He grabbed onto her; wrinkling her dress. "Rey I want you to tell me what you are?"

"I'm a girl mommy!" The little boy seemed so sure of himself. Rey then let go of his mother. He stood there looking up at Cora. The boy had a mixed emotion expression. "Am I a girl mommy?" The woman smiled down at her son. She ignored the question.

"Go play with your toys dear. Mother has to talk with your father." Rey ran off to his room and pulled out a secret chest full of stereotypical girl kids toys his father had gotten him. As Rey was out of the room Cora called for her husband Henry to come in. As he entered he softly asked;

"Yes, my dear?" Cora looked over at him with utter displeasure. She was clearly unhappy about her child's self proclaimed identity. She put her hands at her hips and walked closer to her husband.

"We need to fix this, and you feeding into it isn't helping. It's a phase we must break." The annoyance was conveyed easily as a disapproval. Henry saw behind the corner a little kid. Rey had stepped back in, hiding but in the room, and heard his mother. The boy looked as if he was going to cry.

The alarm clock went off obnoxiously thus waking Regina and Jinx. She looked at the clock and it was 7 am. That day was the day of her first psych appointment. She really was dreading the start of the day. It wasn't a dream. It was a hurt memory. Cora was never accepting of it. She only allowed a transformation for her own needs and plans. She never did anything for the sake if Regina's mental well-being.

She got herself ready for the day. Once again she found herself staring into a mirror. Mocha colored eyes looked sad as she grimaced at herself. In long memory of her former body to this made her want to weep. She stood strong though.

As the hours went by she spent it finishing herself portrait. It looked just like her male complexion. It was a handsome on, but that face was not hers. Soon enough she got into her car and drove to the office. She walked up to the door and before she could knock it opened.

"Good to see you Miss Mills. Why don't you come on in," said Dr. Hopper.

"He said Miss..." She thought to herself. It perked her mood a bit. He seemed kind enough though Regina was still anxious. As she sat down on the small couch the memories her dream resurfaced plagued her mind. She started to visualize the very few things she could remember as a child. Unknowingly she had been twisting and fiddling with the ring Daniel had given her. Dr. Hopper however broke up Regina's unpleasant day dreams.

"Regina," he said in his own soft-spoken way. "How are you?" Regina had an almost instant reaction, a sassy one too.

"If I wasn't okay… would I be here?" She then thought about the way she spoke. Regina sank into the couch. She swallowed the sore feeling in her throat and looked up at Dr. Hopper. "Sorry, I'm just…."

"Nervous?" He smiled and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I bet anyone would be, especially in your situation." She shifted slightly and crossed her legs. Regina however stayed silent. There was a numb feeling and an impairment in her. She couldn't find anything to say. There was too much she wanted to asked and so little knew how to ask it.

"How about we start with how your childhood was." There was a skipped beat in Regina's heart. Her childhood was not her favorite part of her life. Then again, she never liked most of her life. She looked down and wishing for longer hair to cover her eyes. She wanted to hide. However she held her breath to gather strength to speak.

"My mother… wasn't the most loving mother." It felt painful, yet relieving to say those words. Dr. Hopper had a little star in his eye. He was listening to her. Someone was listening to her for once, and with that she continued in a more relaxed manner.

"She was never very supportive of me unless it was in her plan for life." When she spoke then she felt little to no pain. After her words left her she felt a soreness in her muscles. Remembering the past made a burning shiver in her body.

Their conversation easily faded away the hour session. "I'll see you in two weeks? Or do you prefer if it be one week?"

"Two weeks is fine. I think I can handle myself until then." She stood up and walked out giving her psych a smile before she left.

On the way home, at every stoplight she thought, "This is the beginning…."


End file.
